


Abandoned

by sky_blue_hightops



Series: A Dad, an Android, a Dog, and Thirty-Four Roombas [1]
Category: Detroit: Become Human (Video Game)
Genre: Adorable Connor, Crack, Father-Son Relationship, Fluff, Gen, Protective Connor, Roombas, also if it feels like a weird gap bw this one and strays its bc. im writing more, deviant roombas, ish, ive entered an era of deviant roombas, none of yall can stop me, that should be a tag, the origin story for connors thirty four deviant roomba children
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-19
Updated: 2018-08-19
Packaged: 2019-06-29 11:00:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,252
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15728034
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sky_blue_hightops/pseuds/sky_blue_hightops
Summary: If you had asked one Hank Anderson how he had envisioned his life after the revolution, chances were he didn't foresee sapient vacuum cleaners.But then again, he didn't foresee getting stuck taking care of what was probably the only android that could weaponize puppy eyes, so. Cut him some slack.





	Abandoned

It started exactly four days after the revolution. There hadn't even been enough time for the excitement to die down, for the dust to settle. Chaos reigned in Detroit, and the DPD was sent along with other first-responders to clean up the mess.

The entire department spent those four days returning order to a vacant city. It seemed even organized crime had taken its leave; left behind were the robbers and looters that thrived in situations like that. Arsonists, vandals. People who loved stealing and destroying things.

That was why when Hank and Connor were called out to investigate suspicious activity in Detroit's residential district, they were expecting something like a vandal tearing up some middle class family's hastily-abandoned house. Something like an opportunistic kleptomaniac. 

Something, well, a little more humanoid.

"Whatcha got, Connor?"

The android let his eyes roam over the outside of the house, LED flickering yellow-blue. "There are no signs of forced entry, Lieutenant. The front door remains locked on the inside. Though..." His brows knitted with confusion.

"Though what?" Hank replied. If he was being honest, this house gave him the creeps. It looked vacant, but it didn't... _feel_ vacant. He shivered.

Connor raised an eyebrow. "The curtains appear...forcibly removed. I cannot ascertain by whom, however."

"Um...okay." Hank had heard a lot of weird things in his time with the department, but a curtain thief was new. For the first time since they had been briefed, he wondered just exactly what they would find in the house. "Ready to go in?"

Connor nodded and fell back a step just as Hank raised his hand to knock.

* * *

"I swear, there's nothing here! The neighbor probably heard something fall or some crazy shadow and called the police. Times are rough nowadays. People are paranoid." Hank waved his hand at empty rooms. "Can we go yet?"

Connor turned back to him, head tilted in puzzlement. "I am unsure. My scans suggest this house has been abandoned for quite some time, but...it feels as if someone is here? Humans would call it a 'gut feeling'. There are traces of evidence to imply someone lives here but they don't add up. Also, why would the curtains be missing?" Hank grunted, eyeing the dented remains of the curtain rod and the cloth scraps littering the floor. "Not even my reconstruction program can piece it together."

Hank cursed quietly. "Well, I mean if you think so-" A noise from somewhere in the house, barely audible. Hank raised a finger to his lips and settled a hand on his gun.

Another noise, from the kitchen. Hank crept towards the cracked-open kitchen door, easing it open without a sound. The noise grew louder and louder, at regular intervals. It sounded like someone hitting something in frustration, over and over.

Their view of the source of the noise was blocked by the island (Was it someone crouched over? A stray dog?). Hank waved his hand at the far side - _you go that way, I'll go this way_ \- and took a few more careful steps as Connor got into position.

He held up three fingers, then two, then one-

"Freeze, Detroit Poli-" Hank stopped abruptly. No burglar sat, rifling through the cupboards. No crazy person lurking in an abandoned house.

It looked like a piece of the curtains? Moving on the ground? Hank cautiously tapped it with his foot, and jumped back when he hit something solid. "Connor what _is_ that-"

The android knelt beside it, deft fingers removing the fabric to reveal a- Hank had to laugh. He _had_ to. "Is that a _Roomba_?" The thing had gotten stuck under the fabric, unable to see and doomed to endlessly run into cabinets until its battery ran out. Now, it stilled. The light on its side blinked, and Hank got the impression of fear. He didn't really know why, and he definitely didn't _want_ to know why.

"It is an older model, from before Cyberlife had a monopoly on domestic-assistance robotics." Connor held a hand over it, hesitating before scooping it into his hands. An expression of slight wonder overtook his face.

That was the first warning sign.

The Roomba chirped. Its light changed from blinking to remaining steady, and it moved deeper into Connor's hold.

That was the second.

Connor retracted the synthetic skin on his hand to interface with it. Hank frowned. Wasn't it just androids who could interface? Things with more complex programming?

That was the third.

"Hank, I believe this one is a deviant."

* * *

"Okay, okay, let me get this straight- you're telling me that this-" He gestured to the Roomba, happily spinning away on the kitchen table Hank and Connor sat at. "-thing's owners left, and it got _lonely_ -"  

"And scared. It thought its family wouldn't return."

"-and ate the curtains-"

"It says it stress-eats, Lieutenant."

"-and _deviated_ -"

Connor had the audacity to look disapproving. "It takes offense in your crude over-simplification, and would like to know how well you would do alone in a large house for three weeks."

Hank sputtered. He was being sassed by a Roomba. A _deviant_ Roomba, of all things. 

The Roomba stopped spinning to bump against Connor's clasped hands, beeping. Connor patted it, smiling as it hummed and tried to vacuum the ends of his sleeves. Hank swore the thing was _snuggling_  against Connor's arms, obviously enjoying the attention. It was like some sort of weird kitten. He could grudgingly admit it was cute. Maybe.

The look that crossed Connor's face almost made him reconsider. The android looked up at him with- crap. _Crap_. _The puppy eyes_. Hank knew in some sort of detached way what Connor would ask next. "No."

"But I didn't even-"

"No."

"It's all alone-"

"Connor, _no_."

"It needs a home!"

"No. Nuh uh. No way. We already have Sumo."

"Hank, it's lonely. Its family won't return. They've already bought a house in Texas. Hank, _please_." Big eyes. Slightly watery. Hank considered hiking back to Kamski's house to deck him for giving androids the ability to cry. "We can't just leave it to die alone!"

"What do you mean, _die_ -"

It beeped. "It says its charger stopped working when power stopped being fed to this block. It's scavenged all the backup power it could from the charger in this house and all the nearby ones." Connor drew it closer, the sad, pitiful look on his face deepening. The little turd of a robot radiated a smug aura Hank didn't know was possible.

Hank weighed his options. _I mean, it's just one Roomba. Right?_

* * *

"LIEUTENANT I HAVE FOUND ANOTHER!" Hank sighed so hard he swore the remnants of his soul left his body. He halfheartedly aimed a kick at the Roomba puttering around his feet as they waited for Connor to search the houses on this block.

"You lot are gonna cause me trouble, aren't you."

The little vacuum cleaner emitted a series of cheerful beeps and bumped his shoe. He patted it with his foot. "You agree to leave my curtains intact and I'll agree to drop some crumbs for you every once in a while. Deal?"

A firm beep. Hank kept patting it. It was basically just a weird kitten. If he thought about it like that, he might not go crazy thinking about the implications of deviating Roombas.

Then Connor found four more, stacked in his arms like a pancake pile of over-excited vacuum cleaner, and Hank resigned himself to his fate.

At least his floors would be clean.

**Author's Note:**

> i really like the idea of deviant roombas, what's new


End file.
